why cant the odds be in my favor?
by ms.stylinson
Summary: "I'm katniss Everdeen; I live in district 12, with Peeta. I'm 8 months pregnant, and I'm being rushed to the hospital. I hope everything will be alright, I hope this time the odds are in my favor" Will Katniss and/or the baby be alright?
1. Chapter 1

_"I'm katniss Everdeen; I live in district 12, with Peeta. I'm 8 months pregnant, and I'm being rushed to the hospital. I hope everything will be alright, I hope this time the odds are in my favor."_

* * *

It's almost funny how life can go from being extremely happy to being extremely horrible in a matter of seconds. Yes, almost. Right now, I'm in an ambulance, rushing to the hospital. Peeta is here with me, holding my hand tight, his face looks serene, but I know him too well, I can see the worry in his eyes. I am also worried, I hate not knowing what's going to happen, I can just wish for the best, but I'm not feeling very positive right now. I have two paramedics around me, they are saying something, but my mind seems to be somewhere else, and I can't hear what they are saying.

The ride to the hospital seems to last forever, and my preoccupation worsens with every minute that goes by. I try to distract myself, there's not much I can do here, so I let my mind go back to the events of that day.

_As usual, I woke up in Peeta's arms, and he had a smile on his face. Lately, he's been smiling more a lot, I feel like a teen in love when I see his smile, it makes me smile back, and feel butterflies in my stomach. _

"_Good morning katniss" he said before giving me a kiss on the forehead._

"_Good morning" I replied, still a little sleepy._

"_Good morning baby girl" he said placing a hand on my belly. He still had the hand there when the baby kicked; the look on his face was priceless._

_Peeta got up and made breakfast. We ate quietly, the food was delicious. After we finished eating, Peeta asked me if I wanted to keep choosing baby names. After last night's discussion, I decided it was better to let the topic alone for a while. I was sure we´d find time to decide later. _

_I went back to the room and took a shower. When I finished, I went downstairs and found Peeta looking bored. I told him to go to the bakery for a while, but he refused. These last months he had gotten extremely overprotective. It annoys me so much, but now I'm glad he was at home, otherwise no one would have been there to call the ambulance. _

"_So, if you're not going to the bakery, what are you going to do all day?" I asked him while sitting on the couch, with this huge belly; I couldn't stand for too long._

"_Well I'm not sure, I know trying to pick a name is not an option" he said with a teasing smile. I glared at him; my humor these days was getting really unpredictable._

_His expression went serious again, and he asked "what do you want to do today?"_

"_I don't know… do you think maybe we could start the nursery?" I asked him, still a little annoyed._

_His face lit up and he answered "of course! I´d love that! I could make some paintings in her walls!"_

If only I had known by then…

_Painting the nursery was really exhausting, we painted two walls in a soft pink, and the other two in white, so Peeta could use them as a canvas and make some paintings for our baby. Peeta made me wear some strange mask on my face so the smell of the paint wouldn't harm the baby. I meant it when I said he had become extremely overprotective._

_We decided to take a small break. Well, I decided to take a break; Peeta was really inspired in one of his paintings. I began to feel hungry; I decided to take one of those cheese breads Peeta makes. They were in the highest cabinet of the kitchen, and I didn't want to interrupt Peeta while he painted, so I took a small ladder and climbed it to reach the bread. When I was coming down, I tripped in one of the steps, I fell to the floor, and the step hit me hard in the stomach._

_I felt an extreme pain in my back and my belly, I tried to get on my feet but the pain was too strong, I tried one more time, and that's when I noticed the bleeding, it was increasing, as well as the pain._

_I tried to breathe, it was very hard. I tried to call Peeta, but I couldn't speak. After a while trying I was able to call him, my scream must have been very frightening because he came downstairs in a second. He looked at me; saw the bleeding, and his face got really pale._

"_K... katniss, what happened?" he asked while kneeling to take a closer look to me._

"_I fell, it hurts a lot, please call an ambulance" I managed to say through the pain_

My thoughts are interrupted when we arrive at the hospital, before I go insane with all this preoccupation, I start again:

"My name is Katniss Everdeen, I'm eight months pregnant. The ambulance has just arrived to the hospital, anything could happen right now. I hope my baby will be alright, I hope this time the odds are in my favor"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: ok, I had to do A LOT of research to write this chapter, still, I'm sorry if there's any mistake with the medical terms, I'm not a doctor. If there's something wrong remember this is fiction and anything could happen. Enjoy the reading! And review please!**

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I can't describe what I'm feeling; it is as if the world has just collapsed on me. the ambulance has just arrived to the hospital, and if I was worried before, now that worry has gotten a million times worse.

The paramedics open the door; they get me out of the ambulance, and start moving the stretcher inside. I don't know where they are taking me; it could be some simple doctor's office, or an operation room. All I see now are the different doors of the hospital passing by, and the faces of the paramedics around me. I can't see Peeta, even though he was right beside me a few minutes ago. I hope he's not getting one of his flashbacks. He doesn't have them regularly anymore, but some stressful circumstances are still able to trigger them

As if on cue, I hear Peeta screaming "you killed her! You killed our baby!" his face is red with anger; he even has some tears on his eyes. Some security guards appear and take him by the arms. The only person that can hold me together is Peeta, and now he is away from me.

"No, I didn't "I whisper, mostly to myself. I hate to think about it, but it is possible that my fall has killed our baby girl. After all those years of Peeta convincing me to have kids, I finally agree and now it's possible that I killed her!

I try to push that thought away from my mind, I'm overreacting. The odds of a single fall killing a baby are very little, besides the fall wasn't that hard. But then again, when have the odds ever been in my favor?

I arrive into my doctors, office. There aren't many obstetricians in District 12, but I don't remember telling the paramedics he was my doctor. Maybe Peeta did while I was lost in my thoughts in the ambulance. I'm taken out of the stretcher into those bed-like things doctors have in their office.

"Katniss, what happened" he asks in a professional tone.

"I tripped, hit my abdomen, and then fell to the floor. I thought I was fine but I began to bleed." I answer.

"Well, I can see that, you have a moderate bleeding, are you feeling pain in your abdomen right now?"

My hand instinctively rubs my belly and I reply "yes, it's not unbearable, but I am feeling pain"

"I think you might have a placental abruption. I'm going to perform a quick examination, and an ultrasound to see how severe it was, and if your baby is alright. She should be, but I from the amount of blood you're loosing, you might need a c-section" after saying that he begins to apply the gel in my abdomen to make the ultrasound.

That statement shocks me, if my little girl is fine she might be born today, but she will be a preterm baby. "Is she going to be alright?" I ask him, hopingPeeta was here with me, he´d surely know how to calm me down"

"Well" he looks into the monitor to see the ultrasound "your abruption was severe, in order to save her we´re performing an emergency c-section. You're around 33-34 weeks, therefore, there are some risks your baby might face, especially with the development of her lungs, after she's born were taking her to the ICU, to keep her monitored"

I begin to feel dizzy, I don't know if it is because of the new he just gave me, or because I've been losing a fair amount of blood. Honestly, I don't care if I die, I just want my baby to be alright, I can't bear the thought of my own child dying because of me. Too many people have died because of me in the past; I don't want to add her to the list.

A nurse comes in the room and starts an IV line in my arm. She doesn't put any meds there so I figure that the line is for the anesthesia. After she´s gone, some other people arrive; they place me in a stretch and wheel me out of the office.

The operating rooms are upstairs, so we have to take an elevator to go up. Being in an elevator brings back a lot of memories, I used to enjoy being in them, but this ride is far from enjoyable.

We arrive in the operating room, my doctor is getting ready as well as some other ones, I don't know if they are interns or nurses, I couldn't care less.

Somebody comes closer holding a syringe, he puts it in my IV line and says. "I am the anesthesiologist, your c-section is about to start.

My nerves are killing me; I'm shaking, sweating, and feeling dizzy. I close my eyes and repeat in my mind once again "I'm katniss Everdeen, I'm in the operating room, and I´ll have an emergency c-section. Peeta had a flashback and it's not here with Me." I stop, this time it is not helping, I'm only thinking about the bad things.

I remain with my eyes shut, I can hear doctors saying things like "we have to work fast" "control the hemorrhaging" "she's losing too much blood". I fell hopeless.

I open my eyes and see Peeta walking towards me; he is guarded by two other doctors. I suppose that's the deal he had to make to be able to come in. He is pale, but I can tell he is holding himself together to be there for me.

He leans closer and whispers "katniss, I'm so sorry, I had a flashback, I needed to get away so I couldn't harm you" a small smile comes to his lips "even though this is not the way we would have wanted it to be, I wouldn't miss this moment " his smile widens a little bit "I'm sure she´ll be fine, I have a feeling she is as tough as her mommy" he gives me a kiss on the forehead and holds my hand tight.

I want to cry, I don't know if it is because of the preoccupation, or because of the words Peeta just told me. I have a mix of emotions I have never experienced before.

I feel some pressure in my abdomen, Peeta says "she's out" but I don't hear any crying.

The events of the day, combined with the loss of blood are taking their toll on me. I release the grip on Peeta's hand, and slip into unconsciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: again, I'm not a doctor, so I made up some things. If any medical term is wrong, this is just fiction, so anything is possible.**

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_I'm in a strange place, it doesn't look like any place if been before. I hate not knowing things, I should be scared because I don't know where I am, but I feel strangely calmed. I look around, there's not much I can see. It's almost like I'm in limbo, like everything is frozen._

_I begin to walk around, a lot of familiar places, and faces appear. I can also see some scenes of my life; most of them are happy memories, like the times Gale and I used to hunt, and the time Peeta confessed his love for me. It's like I'm watching a movie of my life because the scenes are played in order; of course, I'm only seeing the good parts. _

_I continue walking, like I'm walking towards the future. I arrive at my house in Victors Village and hear a lot of screams. I open the door, rush up the stair, go into the nursery, and I see Peeta inside. I can't read his expression; I come closer, and see that his hands are in a baby´s neck, my baby´s neck! He is strangling her just like he did to me when he was hijacked!_

* * *

I wake up, agitated and sweaty. I don't know what time is it, but it is still dark. I'm glad it was just a bad dream; it means my baby is safe. My nightmares have been so real lately, that sometimes I confuse reality with a nightmare. I instantly feel relieved. I move my hand to my belly, something´s wrong, it is too flat, and I can't really remember what happened to my little girl. Was she really strangled by Peeta? I guess I know now how horrible it feels not being able to tell what's real and what's not.

I sit up in the bed, I realize I unplugged some of the machines I was connected to, but the one measuring my heartbeat is still connected, and I can hear the quick beeping.

The beeping wakes up Peeta, so he turns on the light. He must have been sleeping in the small couch next to my bed.

"Are you okay Katniss?" he asks, his face a little puzzle.

"Honestly, I don't know" I answer "what happened to our baby?"

"You don't remember?" Peeta asks me, his face looking concerned.

"I'm not sure, I have some vague memories, but I just had a bad dream and I'm confusing both of them" I look down "it must be horrible what you went through" I say in a very low voice, almost like a whisper.

Peeta lifts my face and gives me a kiss, then he says "it is awful, but I don't think anyone would have tried so hard to cure me if it wasn't for you" even though that is a really sad statement, he says it with a reassuring smile.

A nurse comes into the room, her presence makes surprises Peeta and me, we separate quickly, I can feel myself blushing.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you" she says while trying to suppress a smile. "I just came to check on Mrs. Mellark"

"Um actually, it is still Everdeen" Peeta corrects her. Even though I had married Peeta almost two years ago now, I didn't change my last name; it is like a reminder of Prim and my dad. At first I thought Peeta would feel sad, but he understood my reasons.

"Ok Mrs. Everdeen" she corrected "how are you feeling? Is there something wrong? Your heartbeat was really accelerated"

"No, there isn't something wrong, I just had a bad dream" I answer. I am a little concerned by the fact that nobody has mentioned my baby. Is she alright?

"Yeah but you can't remember" Peeta says.

"I can, the thing is that my memories are a little mixed with the nightmare"

"That's understandable" says the nurse "sometimes the anesthesia has some side effects, they shouldn't last long" she says with a reassuring smile. "I should go tell your doctor you woke up" she turns on her heel and leaves the room.

"Wait!" I say, but she's already out of the room so she doesn't hear me. "Why does nobody even mentions the baby! Is she alright?" I ask Peeta a little desperate.

"To be honest, I don't know. She wasn't breathing when she was born and the doctors took her to the ICU, I wanted to visit her, but your doctor said I better stay with you in case something happened, that our baby was in good hands" Peeta says, his face turning sad by the memory.

"I just hope she is alright" I whisper, mostly to myself. I rub my belly again, I know there's nothing there, but it is like an instinct.

"Can we go visit her?" I ask, filling myself with hope, maybe if I see her, even though she might not be at her best, will make me calm down a little.

Peeta looks at me with concern, then he says "Katniss, I'm worried about you, what is the last thing you remember? "

I stop for a moment to think about it, and then I say "um well, I remember me being in the operating room, I began to feel pressure in my belly, and everything turned…. Bright?" ok that's weird Peeta was the one who was hijacked, not me.

I look at Peeta's face; he seems to be having the same thought as me. This cannot be good.

"Peeta" I say a little desperate "what exactly happened to me?"

He is about to answer when the door of the room opens, and my doctor comes in. "hello Mrs. Everdeen, glad to see you woke up, how exactly are you feeling?"

"I'm fine I guess, but I had this weird dream, and now I'm confusing it with reality" then I ask him the same question I asked Peeta "what exactly happened to me?"

"Didn't Peeta tell you?" the doctor seems a little surprised.

"I was about to when you came in" Peeta said angrily.

"Well, when we were doing the c-section, you began to lose more blood, that's why you passed out. You needed a blood transfusion. You were lucky we were able to control the hemorrhaging, otherwise you would have ended up infertile, or dead." He makes a small pause and then he continues "now, about those hallucinations, we need to keep a close look on them, tell me if they happen again, or if something out of the ordinary happens, meanwhile make sure to rest a lot, don't stand up unless strictly necessary, remember you have stitches."

He stands up, and walks to the door. He is about to leave when I scream

"Wait!" He stops and turns around.

"What about the baby? Is she okay?" I don't know how much more I'm going to have to wait to know something about the baby.

The expression on my doctor's face turns serious "oh that's right, I forgot to tell you, I have some news about your baby"

**a/n: please review! tell me whatever you think! they encourage me to continue!**


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: Thanks to everybody who has review/put on alert/ marked as favorite! I´ve been EXTREMELY busy lately, I don´t even know how I managed to update. I hope you like it! and review! it would make my day :)**

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I feel like if I had a thousand pounds in my chest. The worry makes it really hard to breathe, and the fact that my doctor is taking too long to explain what happened to the baby doesn't help either. I hear a loud beeping; it is from the machine measuring my heartbeat. The doctor sees it and gives me a sympathetic smile. I don't know if he has kids, but if he does, he surely understands what I'm going through.

I can't take the silence anymore so I say "so… what happened to our baby?"

The doctor seems to be deep in thought when he asks me "Katniss, do you remember anything about the c-section?"

It takes me a while to separate the nightmare from what actually happened, but then I say "well I remember me being there, Peeta coming, with two doctors keeping an eye on him, then I remember him saying "she's out", but not hearing her cry, I guess I must have fainted after that" then it hits me, she wasn't breathing, a lot of things could have happened to her. Peeta told me she was in the ICU but still, I'm scared.

Peeta takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze. I turn around to look at him, he looks as worried as me, but in his eyes, I can see that sparkle, that tiny bit of hope that tells me that everything will be alright.

My doctor clears his throat, clearly feeling awkward by the moment Peeta and I just shared. When he has our attention he says "well that is totally true Katniss, your baby did take a while to breathe, there shouldn't be any after effects but we still need to keep an eye on her"

"that's why you have her in the ICU?" I ask, really hoping that is the only problem she has to face.

"yes and no" he takes a small pause and then continues " the fact that she wasn't breathing was the main reason she was taken there, but it is not the only one. Since she is a preterm baby, she cant totally control her body temperature, so she needs to be kept in an incubator. Besides, we found out she has respiratory distress syndrome, and jaundice. I´d stay longer to explain you but I need to see some patients. I´ll have the neonatologist come and talk to you in a while."

"Can we go visit her" Peeta asks him.

"You can, but Katniss stay in bed for now, she has been through a lot. Besides, it's getting late, you should stay here with her, and go visit the baby tomorrow. Have you chosen a name yet?"

"No" Peeta and I say in unison.

"Well you should, that girl needs a birth certificate you know?" the doctor says with a small grin. Then, he leaves the room.

Peeta and I are left in the room alone. Honestly, I don't want to pick baby names, Peeta and I always disagree, but now that the baby has been born, I know I have to.

"Katniss?" Peeta says pulling me out of my thoughts " I think I should call your mother, inform her of everything and let her know you are alright"

"Yeah, I should have thought about it before" I can't believe I forgot to call my mom. With all that has happened I just forgot, I can't help to feel guilty about that. My relationship with my mother had improved over the years, if she was here, I'm sure she´ll be of a lot of help.

"I'll be right back" Peeta says grinning "try to think about baby names meanwhile"

Peeta leaves the room and I'm left alone with my thoughts. I think about everything, my mom, the baby, even Prim. She would be so happy to have a little niece. It's incredible how much I miss her, no matter how many time passes by, almost everything I do reminds me of her. A tear escapes my eyes, followed by many others. I don't know why I am so sentimental, I guess my hormones are still a little crazy.

Peeta comes inside again and sees me wiping my tears. "What's wrong?" he asks

"Nothing, It's just that I was thinking about Prim" I give him a weak smile.

He returns the smile and takes the seat next to me; he wipes some of my tears and gives me a kiss on the forehead. "It's okay Katniss; I know how much you miss her"

My stomach growls so loud even Peeta can hear it. He laughs a little and says "are you hungry?" I give him a "you don't say" look. Truth to be told, I haven't eaten anything since… I don't really know

"Peeta, how long was I out?" I ask him

"Just for the night, the doctors gave you some kind of sedative to ease the pain"

"Do you want something to eat? I could get you something" Peeta offers.

As if on cue, a nurse comes in with what I guess is my food. It doesn't look too nice.

"I'm sorry we took so long Mrs. Everdeen" she says while placing a plastic table on my bed. I examine the food, and see I only have a soup, and some weird jelly

"Is this all I get to eat?" I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but I'm starving.

"Yes, you have a lot of time without eating, and we don't want you to have an upset stomach" she replies shyly. "Call me if you need anything" she says pointing to the nurse bottom near my bed, and with that she leaves the room.

I begin to eat the soup, it looked horrible, and it tastes as horrible as it looks, it is just nothing compared to Greasy Sae´s soups.

"Peeta aren't you going to eat?" I ask Peeta, he usually eats a lot so he must be hungry.

"No, I'm fine, I had a snack while talking to your mother" he answered.

"Speaking of my mother, what did she say?"

"Well, she was a little worried, I told her you were fine, that our baby should be fine also, and she said she´s coming, maybe tomorrow or in two days, she had to ask for permission in the hospital"

I grin; the idea of having my mother here makes me happy. I finish my (horrible) food, the nurse comes and takes the plate, and she informs us that the neonatologist had an emergency and will not be able to visit us today, that he will come tomorrow morning.

"So…" Peeta says "ready to pick a name for our baby?" he asks grinning like a child in a candy store.

I let out a sigh "okay, but promise to choose normal names" I say jokingly.

"Do you want to search for names online? I have my computer here"

I gave him a small nod. Since the rebellion, new technology was available in all districts, one of those new things were computers, and internet. I hated using them, mainly because I'm not good with them and I end up angry. But since we really needed to pick a name, and Peeta was the one controlling "the machine", I accepted.

I look into the screen and I can see Peeta had some baby name pages saved. "You have searched for names before?" I tease him.

He blushes "I had forgotten about those pages, I searched in them even before you had agreed to have kids" he says, his face turning more and more red.

I let out a small laugh. Then I say "awwww" in a teasing tone. I actually thought it was cute, but I was enjoying the moment of seeing him blush.

"okay okay enough" he says, still blushing.

We spend hours looking for names, they are either too common, or he doesn't like it, or I don't like it. This is what I hate about picking a name. the time keeps passing by, a nurse bring me dinner (another plate of horrible food), Peeta goes out to eat something, and when he returns we continue.

I'm getting sleepy, this search has taken hours, at least we are not discussing. After visiting some more pages Peeta says "hey, what about Valerie? It means strong and healthy" he makes a small pause "I think it's cute" he looks a Little nervous, I can tell he really likes that name.

I make him a disgusted face, but then I say "I like it Peeta, I really do"

He smiles and asks "are you sure?"

"Valerie… Valerie Mellark" I say with a smile "I love it Peeta.

Peeta comes close and gives me a kiss. It begins like a sweet one, but turns passionate. We pull apart because of the need for air. We look in each other's eyes, I yawn and he says "you should rest Katniss, tomorrow will be a big day, we´ll meet our little girl" he gives me a kiss on the forehead, his eyes are glowing. I can't help but smile.

"Do you want to sleep here?" I ask him

"Of course" he answers matter-of-factly.

"But here, here" I say while patting a spot in the bed next to me. "I don't want to have another nightmare" I tell him, which is totally true. I still don't know how, but Peeta's arms keep the nightmares away.

He smiles a little, takes off his shoes and climbs in the bed next to me. this beds are supposed to be individual, so we are a little tight, but I don't mind, I'm really comfortable with Peeta next to me, I love being in his arms. I don't know if I'll sleep though, knowing that I'll meet our baby tomorrow makes me a little anxious.

I lay there in the bed thinking. Mainly about the baby, because I don't know how I'll react when I meet her. Peeta is awake too; I don't have to look at him to know. Maybe Peeta though I was already asleep, or maybe he wanted me to listen when he whispered "I can't wait to meet Valerie, I'm sure she is as beautiful as you" after saying that, he kissed my hair. I'm aware a lot of things could go wrong tomorrow, but right now, I couldn't be happier.

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**I really hope you liked it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay faster update! Enjoy!**

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_I am in my house, my house at the seam. I am a little girl, probably eight or nine. I go to the kitchen, and see my father talking to my mom, she´s giggling, and her eyes are sparkling, you can tell she´s in love. I turn around and realize my little sister Prim is also watching them, she has a huge smile on her face, and her eyes are glowing just like my mother´s._

"_Hey! I see you girls woke up" my father says walking towards us, he lifts us in his arms and gives us each a kiss on the cheek._

"_You must be hungry" my mom says with a smile. My father sits us at the table and we enjoy breakfast. Today is Sunday, that means my father has the day off and gets to spend some time with us. We it breakfast in silence, it is nothing fancy, just some bread with different types of berries my father collects, but it tastes really good._

_After we finish eating, my dad sits me in his lap and asks me "do you want to go hunting with me today?" my face lights up, and a huge grin appears on my face. my father takes that as a yes so he tells me to go get ready._

_I change from my pajamas to some clothes and we go out. I watch him hunt while I gather some plants. After a while he says "do you want to try?" while looking at his bow. I give him a nervous look, but I agree. We wait a little and a rabbit appears, he takes my hands in his, and we shoot. We hit it right in the eye, I feel a little sad for the rabbit, but I can wait till we go home and eat it._

_My father also takes me to the lake. I love spending time with my father there, especially when he teaches me how to swim. _

"_Katniss!" I hear a voice calling me._

"_Katniss!" it's not my fathers._

"_Katniss wake up!"_

* * *

I open my eyes, the first thing I see is Peeta; he is smiling at me. Suddenly, I begin to feel angry. It was only a dream! It was too good to be true I guess. A tear slides down my face, followed by many others. I´m so sentimental lately, is it possible that my hormones are still messing with me?

"Katniss what´s wrong? Were you having I nightmare? You looked so peaceful…" Peeta's face is full of concern.

"I… it's… I was dreaming with my father… and Prim" I manage to say between the tears.

"Oh..." Peeta´s face turns a little sad, maybe he is remembering his family too.

"Why did you wake me up?" I say in a loud voice, almost screaming. I can't explain why I'm so angry; I've had dreams like these before.

"I'm sorry Kat" he says while looking down "it's just that a nurse came here with your breakfast"

I glare at him. I can't believe he just woke me up because of that! I take the tray angrily and eat in silence. It's the same ugly food as yesterday, but in bigger quantity. I don't know if that´s good or bad, I am really hungry, but that food tastes horrible.

After I finish eating I put the tray away, I'm still angry so I don't bother to talk to Peeta. After a while a nurse comes in, she takes the tray away, but she doesn't leave, she looks at us like she wants to say something, but hesitates.

Finally she opens her mouth "um… I don't want to bother you, but please let me now when you want to meet your baby, your doctor informed me that you have to go on a wheelchair. Besides, when you go see her, I have to let dr. Gomez, the neonatologist, know so he can explain you everything. You can call me using the nurse button" she gave us a reassuring smile and she left.

I was left alone with Peeta again, but I wasn't feeling angry anymore, I was anxious now, even my palms began to sweat. The door opened again, but this time it wasn't a nurse, or a doctor, it was…

"Hi sweetheart, hi Peeta" Haymitch said with a smile. "I was getting worried sweetheart, is everything okay?" he asked, he didn't seem to be drunk, and if he was, he was hiding it pretty well.

My face turned sad at the question, everything is NOT okay! I´m still in this horrible hospital, my baby is still in the ICU and I miss prim like never before. "Its okay, Valerie is in the ICU, but the doctors say she´ll be fine" "_I really hope she´s going to be okay" _I think.

"And when are you getting released?" Haymitch asks.

"I don't know, I hope soon, this hospital drives me crazy" I give him a small smile.

Haymitch walks silently and takes a seat beside Peeta. They share a cute hug, almost like father and son. The truth is that ever since we were in our first hunger games, Haymitch has been like a father to us, even if he is drunk sometimes.

"How are you feeling son?" I hear Haymitch ask Peeta. I look into his eyes and see the sadness in them. I've been so selfishly thinking about my problems that I didn't notice that sadness before. Peeta was being strong for me, but I know him too well, I know he is dying inside just as I am. Now that I think of it, his concern must be worse than mine; his two girls are in the hospital.

Haymitch and Peeta have been talking for a while. I don't know what they were talking about because I was so lost in my thoughts; however, it looks as if Haymitch is doing a good god comforting Peeta.

Haymitch stands up and comes closer to me. "I'll leave you both alone; it looks like you need some time. I really hope your girl gets better soon" he gives me a warm smile "by the way, your mother called me, she said she´ll be here in a day or two." With that he turns on his heel and leaves the room. I can't help but smile, not only did Haymitch came to visit, also my mother is coming soon, I haven't seen her since long ago. Besides, I'm sure she´ll be of a lot of help. Peeta and I are parents for the first time, Haymitch doesn't seem to know a thing about babies, and my mother's help would definitely be appreciated.

"I'm glad Haymitch came to visit" Peeta says in a low voice. He must think im still angry.

"I'm sorry Peeta" I say looking into his eyes "I shouldn't have treated you that way, it was just a dream"

"Its okay, you've been through a lot these last couple of days, I understand Katniss" why does he has to be so cute? Always putting others first. Time passes by and he's still the same.

"No Peeta, _we_ have been through a lot, I should have thought you might be sad too, I'm sorry I am so selfish" guilt fills my body, it surprises me how many different emotions I can have in such a short period of time.

"I am worried for Valerie Katniss, but I know she is a fighter, just like her mommy" Peeta's words made me smile. He took my face in his hands and gave me a sweet kiss.

"So… do you want to go visit Valerie?" Peeta asked, his face lighting up like a kid who is about to receive a present.

"Of course" I replied, giving him a nervous smile. Just thinking about meeting Valerie made chills run down my spine.

"Let the nurse know then" Peeta says. I find the nurse button and hit it. It makes no sound, or any proof that it is working, so I push if again and again. Suddenly, the nurse enters the room running, she looks really concerned.

"Wh… what's going on?" she inquires.

"Nothing" Peeta says matter-of-factly. "We were just calling so you could let Dr. Gomez know we are going to visit Valerie... You know so he can explain everything to us"

"Oh you scared me, next time don't place the buttons so fast ok" I chuckle, and then I give her an apologetic smile. "Valerie?" she asks confused.

"Yes, that's how we decided to name her, it means strong and healthy" Peeta says proudly.

"Aw that's cute. Don't worry I'll ask Dr. Gomez if he is not busy. If he's not I will return with your wheelchair" she says while looking at me. I give her an annoyed look, I used to be a hunter, climb trees and now I can't even walk to the ICU! I feel so useless. She gives me an apologetic look and gets out of the room.

"What was that for?" Peeta asks getting out of the small couch and coming closer to me.

I sigh "it's just… I have to go in a wheelchair" I say in a sad tone "Am I so weak I can't even walk a few steps?" I ask looking into his deep blue eyes; he seems to understand what I'm going through.

"Its okay sweetheart, you´ve been through a lot. I'm just happy you made it" he says while taking my hand in his. I fell touched by his words, but I still feel sad, so I look down.

"I know how you are feeling, not wanting to have others do your things, to be able to walk around on your own" he places his hand under my chin, and makes me look at him, his blue eyes full of honesty. "But believe me, you´ll recover soon, and I will be always here for you, just as you have always been there for me" a single tear escapes my eyes, _why am I so emotional?_ Peeta wipes it away with his thumb gives me a kiss on the cheek, just where the tear was. I smile at his sweetness.

The nurse comes back with my wheelchair, apparently Dr. Gomez wasn't busy. The nurse wheels me towards the ICU, Peeta holding my hand. We have to take an elevator down a few floors. When the doors open, I feel myself getting more and more nervous. My palms begin to sweat, and my breaths are getting faster. Peeta's free hand is tight in a fist; he is nervous too. I breathe deeply, and begin one more time.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen, I'm walking to the ICU were I'll meet Valerie. My little girl, I hope she has Peeta's eyes, but most of all I wish she doesn't have my luck. I wish the odds are in her favor"

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**a/n: so I forgot to ask, Did you like the name? I'm sorry I've been pushing the moment where they meet the baby; I'm evil and ill make you wait wua ha ha. Please tell me what you think; reviews and constructive criticism are very much appreciated!**


	6. Chapter 6

The seconds were passing slowly, almost as if my life was now a movie in slow motion, very slow motion. My heart was beating faster that ever, i felt like I had my hard in my throat. Peeta gives my hand a light squeeze. He didn't say anything, but im sure it meant "its going to be okay katniss"

We finally arrived to the neonatal ICU. From the window outside I could see lots of babies. Some looked stronger than the others, but they all were fighting for my life. It made me sad some of them wouldn't make it. It also made me nervous.

We were greeted by a middle-aged man. His head had a huge bald spot, but his features were soft, he looked like a kind man. He introduced himself as Dr. Gomez, he gave Peeta and me a strong handshake. I never really understood how my mother and Prim liked being doctors. For me, it was the worst thing ever. Not only did Doctors have to see nasty injuries, they also were the ones that have to give the bad news to the families. Yes, for me it is an awful job; however, I admire the courage and the braveness that doctors have when they deal with their patients.

"Katniss?" Dr. Gomez said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Oh sorry" I replied, I wonder how long was he talking.

"It's okay, I understand your nerves. Don't worry though, I still haven't explained the situation you didn't miss anything" he said with a reassuring smile "and try to relax, you have a strong baby, she´ll be fine". I wish that made me fell less nervous, but it didn't. I won't be "calmed" until I see Valerie and see if she has any chance of surviving.

"Can you explain now?" Peeta asked. It sounded a little rude but I'm sure it's because of the nerves.

"Of course" Dr. Gomez replied.

"As you know, your baby was born around week 33 of the pregnancy, and her lungs weren't fully developed. She was diagnosed with respiratory distress syndrome. Right now she needs the help of a machine in order to breathe properly. We are giving her a substance that should help mature her lungs faster."

This time, I was paying close attention to Dr. Gomez´s words. I was in shock; I felt so guilty. If I wasn't so stubborn, and had let Peeta help me, maybe I would be home right now bored, but Valerie would be safe in the womb.

"Is that all?" I ask Dr. Gomez

"I'm afraid it's not" he replies "your baby was also diagnosed with jaundice, which is when her skin and eyes show a yellowish color. Jaundice itself its nothing to worry about, it's actually common in babies, but her case was moderate so we've been treating her with phototherapy" Peeta and I both give Dr. Gomez a confused look which causes him to laugh a little before continuing with the explanation "During phototherapy we place Valerie under special lights that absorb the yellow color of her skin. We need to keep an eye on her though, because jaundice sometimes is a symptom of worse liver conditions. But the odds of that happening are very small"

Before coming here, I had hoped that hearing Dr. Gomez´s explanation would calm my nerves a little, but it didn't. I don't believe when doctors say that the odds to certain illness are small, mainly because the odds are never in my favor. It's as if saying that the odds are small it means I'm the perfect target.

Dr. Gomez places a hand on my shoulder before saying "Listen Katniss, I know you are nervous, and you have every right to be, but your little girl is in very good hands, I promise to take good care of her. I wouldn't like to harm the mockinjay´s little girl" he gave me a small wink when saying mockinjay. I hadn't been called like that in years. It felt good, but it reminded me too much of the people that are no longer with us, specially Prim.

"Ok now, you can go inside, a nurse will direct you to your baby" Dr. Gomez finally said.

I felt Peeta pushing the wheelchair inside the ICU; I was getting more and more nervous. What is she like? Does she have Peeta's eyes? Will she look like me? Will I be able to differentiate her from other newborns? Yes, I was very nervous, but this time, I was also exited.

Once inside, we are greeted by a nurse. She gives us a very kind smile. For me, it would be awful to be in her position, watching nervous parents, and babies that sometimes don't make it. I hear her giving directions to Peeta, but im too lost in my thoughts to pay attention. Oh well. I guess he will have to explain them to me later.

Peeta pushes my wheelchair again, Valerie seems to be at the end of the room. We pass by lots of children; some of them look strong, like little fighters, while others look really fragile. Tear begin to form in my eyes, stupid hormones, how is Valerie going to look? I really hope she looks like a fighter, not only for her sake, but also for mine.

Finally, Peeta and I stop next to a little girl. I read the sticker in her crib, its says: name: Valerie Mellark, mom: Katniss Everdeen, dad: Peeta Mellark. I look at her, and all my fears come true.

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**A/n: I'm SO sorry this took so long! Lack of time + writers block = disaster. Im also sorry this is so short. Next one will be better. im not sure how long I want this story to be.. I don't think itll be too long. I was planning of writing a chapter in Gales POV (when he finds out about Valerie) but im not sure.. please tell me what do you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

I never wanted to be a mother. I had sworn as a kid that I would never be. It used to be because of the hunger games, but even when I was little, that was not the only thing preventing me from wanting kids. Since my father died, and I had to look out for Prim, I found myself felling extremely guilty if anything happened to her. I hated that feeling, and if that guilt happened with my sister, I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if something bad happened to any of my kids.

After the rebellion, when they announced the hunger games would be over, you could think I would want to have kids, but it had the entire opposite effect. After watching so many innocent people, especially little children, losing their lives for a cause_** I **_created, I was left in such a delicate mental state, that having a kid would be the worst decision ever. Besides, Peeta, the only person in this world who I would consider having kids with, was in a worse mental state than me.

Eventually, we found our way back. I managed get over the loss of so many people (even though I miss them so much) and Peeta's flashbacks became less and less frequent. He even managed to control the flashbacks when they occurred.

Life finally began to make sense for the both of us. Still, there was something missing, and even I could notice that, but my stubborn mind prevented me from agreeing to have kids. I guess Peeta managed to be more stubborn than me, because no matter how many times I said no, Peeta would always ask, until he got that one word that could change his life. When I pronounced that "yes" it felt awesome. Nevertheless, that fear would always be present.

Now, as I stand up from the wheelchair to see our little girl, our little Valerie, it is as if all those fears became true. Words can't explain how I feel right now. However, guilt seems to be the most prominent feeling.

Tears start to form in my eyes; I would usually try not to cry, but not now. I let my tears fall while I sob silently. I feel Peeta´s arm hugging me from behind. I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck, while he wraps his arms strongly around my waist. He holds me while I cry, I feel something wet around my shoulder and realize he is crying too, which only makes me feel guiltier. Peeta doesn't deserve to go through this.

"It's okay Katniss" Peeta whispers in my ear with a shaky voice, "If she's a strong as her mother she's going to be fine."

Peeta´s compliment manages to put a small on my face. I lose my grip around his neck and look him in the eyes, they are blue like the sea, they are sad, but they also have a small sparkle, that tiny bit of hope that makes me think, at least for a second, that everything is going to be alright.

Finally, I build up enough courage to look to the crib again. In there I see a small body, hooked to a respirator and a bunch of different machines. She looks so tiny, so fragile. But deep inside, I know Peeta is right, she is a little fighter.

I take my time analyzing her small features. She´s really beautiful, her hair seems to be like Peeta´s, which is something that I'd love. When she opened her eyes, I realized they were blue, just like Peeta´s. she's going to be daddy´s girl I'm sure. She also reminds me a lot of Prim, which makes me really sad because I know how happy she would be to have a little niece.

"Its okay to touch her you know, you can hold her hand if you want to" Dr. Gomez says pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I… it's just… she´s so small…" I finally say. Peeta nods in agreement.

"She may look really small to you, but she is progressing, she is slowly gaining weight and becoming stronger. It's okay for you to hold her hand, you won't do any harm to her" Dr. Gomez replies giving me a reassuring smile before continuing speaking "well, I'm going to give you some time alone with Valerie, you can stay here all afternoon if you want, but I suggest Katniss, that you don't spend too much time standing up" and with that he turned on his heel and left us alone.

I decide to listen to Dr. Gomez and grab Valerie's hand, I'm a little hesitant at first, but when I grab her hand, and feel her small fingers around me, I can't help but smile and forget everything around me. I even forget Peeta standing right next to me.

I remember father used to sing to prim when she was a baby, so I begin to sing to Valerie. I know she is just a little baby, but she looks like she is paying attention to me, and even enjoying while I sing to her.

I don't know how long I'm there, but it must be a good couple of hours because I'm becoming hungry. Almost as if he could read my thoughts, Peeta says "Hey Katniss aren't you getting hungry?"

I give him a small nod before saying "I hate to admit it, but I guess it's time to leave our Valerie"

Peeta seems to notice the sad tone in my voice because he replies "its okay, we can come back tomorrow"

I give him another nod before sitting in the wheelchair and letting him take me back to my hospital room. I spend all the way back thinking, about many different things, but one thing is true, even though meeting Valerie made me feel guilty, it also gave me hope that everything is going to be alright.


	8. Chapter 8

I never thought I could be so attached to something, or well someone, I didn't want. But I have to admit leaving Valerie was really hard. Peeta kept assuring me she'd be fine, and that we could see her in the morning, but I just didn't want to leave her.

Eventually, I give up. I sit back on my wheelchair and let Peeta take me back to my room. I can´t stop thinking about Valerie. In fact, I am so lost in my thoughts; I don´t notice my mom standing in the middle of my room. She has to call my name several times before I realize she is really standing right in fromt of me.

She walks towards me and gives me a huge hug. Its true that my mom and I never had the best relationship, but it has improved. After the rebellion we got closer, it got to a point where no matter in which district she was, she was always there for me, this time is no exception.

"Hi mom" I say giving her a weak smile.

"Hi katniss, hi Peeta" She replies. There is a moment of awkward silence between the three of us. I guess it's because neither of us knows what to say next.

"I'm glad you´re here mom" I finally say.

"I would've gotten here sooner but you know how busy my job has been" she's right, in the last years, she had been properly trained as a doctor, and let's say that being the mockinjay's mom made her have a lot of patients.

"So… how´s the little girl?" she asks.

"She's in the ICU right now, but the doctor says she'll be fine" Peeta answers in a very neutral tone of voice, although I know it is just a mask covering all the stress and preoccupation.

"We were with her just now" I smile thinking of her.

"And what about you katniss?" she says showing some concern.

"I'm hungry" I reply, the words leaving my mouth before I could even think of it.

My mom lets out a small chuckle before saying "you know that's not what I mean, but since you're hungry, why don't we go to the cafeteria and catch up?"

"I don't know if Katniss is allowed" the over protective Peeta says.

"Oh don't worry; I'll be watching what she eats. Besides, she is already in a wheelchair so she doesn't have to walk. It will be fine" my mom assured him.

We spent the next hour talking. I explained my mom everything about Valerie's condition. She also asked about me, she was glad I was fine. Peeta asked her if my mood swings were normal. Like me, she blamed it on the hormones, but she said I should keep an eye on them because I could be suffering from baby blues or post birth depression. The conversation went smoothly and I was glad to be able to catch up with my mom.

* * *

"_Oh! I forgot to ask! Have you named her yet?" My mother asked with curiosity._

"_Yes, her name is Valerie, it means strong and healthy" Peeta said proudly._

"_That's a really cute name" she said "and who does she look like?"_

"_Right now is hard to tell but I think she looks a lot like Peeta. She also reminds me of prim" I answered, sadness filling my voice at the mention of Prim's name._

_My mom's features were also filled with sadness. As days went by, it was easier to deal with it, but that doesn't mean we didn't miss her. "It´s okay Katniss, she's watching us I know that. She would be really happy to have a niece" Peeta said bringing a smile to my mom and I._

_We ate in a comfortable silence. The food tasted like heaven to me. of course, my mom ordered an ultra healthy dish,(even though right now all I want are some Peeta-made cheese buns), but it was a thousand times better than that horrible hospital food._

"_Katniss I think it's time for you to go back to your room, it's been a busy day you need to rest a little." My mother said. Peeta nodded in agreement._

_Peeta paid for our food and took me to my room, my mom followed us. When we got there, Peeta helped me to get out of the wheelchair, and that's when I found out something I really didn't want to face at the moment._

"_And how are you dealing with the press?" she asked in a more serious tone._

"_What press?" Peeta and I say in unison._

"_Don't tell me you don't know! The press is crazy with the mockinjay's baby! And apparently, they found out you were rushed to the hospital, there are all kinds of crazy rumors going around" part of it was true, ever since the news of my pregnancy got out the people had been crazy. They were really annoying at first, but just one phone call to Paylor was enough to forbid the photographers from harassing me. Of course there were some rude ones that didn't obey Paylor´s orders, but Peeta and I were able to handle them. _

I still don't know how the press found out about Valerie's condition. Now that I think of it, it could have been anyone in this hospital, but that is just me being paranoid. Besides, my mom says there are crazy rumors, maybe they just found out about me being rushed to the hospital and the rest are just invented scenarios.

"_Wait... How do you know about it? You don't even read the newspaper!" I asked her. _

_Her body tensed immediately, but she kept her mouth shut. I noticed that she probably just told me something that she shouldn't have._

"_I… umm... Well…"_

"_What is it mom?" I spat shooting an accusing glance in her direction. She let out a sigh and remained silent again, but I didn't push the topic because I didn't want to upset her. However, when I was about to change the topic, she took a deep breath and spoke those to sentences that paralyzed me._

"Gale told me. He is coming to see you_"_

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**A/n: It's been really hard to write this story I managed to write this but I'm still uncertain about where this story is going. That's why updates are being so irregular if you have any suggestions I'd really appreciate them, I'd like to know what you want to see in this story!**


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